I took Elise to the airport today so she could return home. Leaving her there was harder than I had imagined it would be. We had a great weekend together. The school wouldn't let her stay in her dorm past friday, so she moved in with me for a few days. We had such a wonderful time together. We watched movies, ate sushi, laughed...just enjoyed each other so much. Last night we went to Tuscany's for dinner and then to the Bavarian so she could say goodbye to Amanda Juston. We went home, drank wine, and talked into the wee hours of the morning....
I don't know if I'm in love with her. I don't think I'm really ready to feel feelings that strong. But I do care very much for her. And, honestly, I don't know that I've found a person with more balance in their life than her. She is often smiling, enthusiastic, positive...and yet, she is so in touch with reality. She is confident with herself, and doesn't try to get attention or validation by complaining or feeling sorry for herself about anything. Our relationship is so comfortable. We can tease each other, and admire each other at the same time. She is able to still care very much about things (like school, work, etc.) and yet be very laid back about it all. I really admire that. I admire so much about her...and I enjoy being with her so much.
We both realize that now is not the time to take a relationship further...she's young and I'm not emotionally ready either. We both have things we need to experience.
But I will never forget this time we've had. I can't believe how much I miss her. The airport scene was so hard. I just felt like this giant ball was rolling...pulling her away from me and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.
I like this feeling though. I like knowing that I can feel this way about somebody without being compelled or obligated to feel so.
I'm going to miss her.
